Talkin' "Mad Men" season four finale predictions

By DANIEL "Paragraph Paragon" FINNEY and PAUL "Spreadsheet Sultan" RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Bandwidth Abusers

Paul: Mad Men Season Finale Predictions

1. Bert Cooper comes back. Maybe Don has to do a little butt-kissing, but Bert softens a little.

  2. We see Sal.

 Dan: That would be nice. Sal gives up his  body so they can have Lucky Strike back.

 Paul: I think the tobacco slave ship has sailed

  3. Their is a marriage proposal, but not Don-Faye. Peggy-weird filmmaker dude

 4. There is a fissure with Pete and the in-laws. A Pete divorce, sets up Pete-Peggy next year. Pete has been kicked around by his own family these, then these in-laws. I think he stands up for himself. It would complete the Redemption of Pete. 

 5. The firm survives somehow, but I am not sure how.Bonus Prediction: Betty's husband has a secret Betty finds out about.

  

 Dan: 1. Don proposes to Megan.

2. Pete lands a huge account, becomes a full partner.

3. The firm lands American Cancer Society, which is worth $25 million in annual billings due to Don's letter.

4. Roger dies.

  5. Joan kept the baby.

  Bonus prediction: Betty has cancer.

Paul: Wow. I like it. We can get a cancer poster with Betty on it. One side has her dazzling in the fur coat. The other has a hagged out, cancer-ridden Betty, specially portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker.

Talkin' The CW's "Hellcats"

By PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Sultan of Spreadsheets

“Hellcats” is a new show on the The CW this year, a mix of the movies “Election” and “Bring it On” in simple terms.

Where “Outsourced” took a formula from the 2006 movie it is based on and stripped away its thin pleasures, the pilot of “Hellcats” shows our central character watch “Bring It On” to prepare for her cheerleader audition. “Hellcats” is not afraid to take what works from another show. To openly admit it is a nice note, as it is what the audience is thinking anyway.

Most shows work on one of two levels. There is the procedural with a compelling story each week: “LA Law,” “NYPD Blue,” “ER.” The action or story each week keeps the audience interested and the actors and dialogue hopefully is enjoyable but it is not the focus.

Then you have the show where writing and characters are more important. “According to Jim” is inane but Jim Belushi is a lovable guy. Be it “Seinfield” or “Cheers“ or “How I Met Your Mother,” you want to like the characters and the stories give them a chance to do something amusing. Barney Miller does not require compelling crime.

“Mad Men” has little going on for episodes. “Breaking Bad” has a relatively simple story line, and “Rubicon” has story that does not always work, but these AMC shows have characters that are compelling.

Some shows are a mix, either they do both well or survive in the middle. “Bring it On” has a simple storyline but it is nice to see Kristen Dunst fall for the good guy and fit into the complex social stratosphere of a cheerleading team at a new school.

“Hellcats” has those character elements in place: the new cheerleader who lost her scholarship and is forced to cheer, the idealistic team captain with grudging respect for the new girl, the poisonous cheerleader whose status is in danger.

These are tried and true characters but they can work. “Hellcats” works in a way that the new “Nikita” fails and it is hard to describe why. “Glee” has storyline elements in the way “The OC” “The Office” and other shows in this space do and so does “Hellcats:” the first few episodes have an important competition, bonding with the squad, family issues, the idealistic and naïve cheerleader dates the new girl’s guy friend.

Somehow these stories work as “Nikita” failed to give their attractive stars something to do. “Hellcats” also compares to “High School Musical,” watching young people start out in life holds a nostalgic appeal and the hope of new beginnings.

As a Memphis native, I feel compelled to mention the setting. There are shows that make excellent use of their surroundings: “Miami Vice,” “NYPD Blue,” a show like “John from Cincinnati.”

“Entourage” and “Making it in America” can sometimes fail completely in terms of story characters and writing and the atmospherics provide some enjoyment. Memphis has had a recent growth in its entertainment industry: “Walk the Line,” “Hustle and Flow,” there is a MTV show based on local music scene. “The Firm” started things rolling.

“Memphis Beat” is set here and Jason Lee gives episodic monologues about confessing and cooperating with cops for the honor of Memphis, but there is scant evidence of Memphis as a compelling reason to do anything in that show.

“Hellcats” shows Beale Street. There are Mississippi River views. I think some filming takes place at Rhodes College, but regardless it is a nice southern collegiate setting for the campus scenes. The new girls mom ingratiates herself with barbecue and someone is mentioned as coming from Millington, home of Justin Timberlake. In the third episode, the date, our naïve cheerleader appears to get smashed on hurricanes, presumably at the Pat O’Briens on Beale street. These are

nice touches.

So if you are fan of teen soap operas or character shows where the action is like a “Glee” or “Community” or “High School Musical” you may enjoy “Hellcats.” It is a show that does not command must view status but one I will enjoy in the background doing chores around the house.

Talkin' Fox-TV's "Lone Star" blues

By DANIEL P. FINNEY and PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writers

Paul the accountant and Dan the newsman give in-depth analysis of Fox-TV's critically acclaimed, surefire hit "Lone Star."

Dan: I  watched the first episode of "Lone Star." Paul: Yeah. "Lone Star" was a good pilot. Dan: I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it given how contrived the plot is. I'm looking forward to the next episode. Paul: It has been canceled. Dan: Really? Wow.  Paul: Two episodes and dead. These shows are expensive. You can throw some reality thing on. I don't know. Dan: Well, never mind then. Paul: Yeah.

Talkin' NBC's "Outsourced" ... sort of

By PAUL RUSSELL
TV Talkin' Blog Staff Writer

This review of “Outsourced” will serve as more than that, as the show does not merit a lot of
attention and if I introduce myself and my methods now, by contrast with “Outsourced” they may
seem exemplary in comparison.

First methodology, I am not going to actually watch this show.

I mean to employ a kind of applied or theoretical science. Like chaos theory in mathematics that looks for trends or patterns in randomness or the Heisenberg uncertainty principle where fairly accurate but never precise assumptions are made about particles by the waves from an electron microscope, my methodology does not represent hard science.

I am going to look at the 2006 "Outsourced" movie and extrapolate. I will see an "Outsourced" commercial or media picture of the cast, and reason that if this slice of the show is this bad the trend of the whole show is bad.

If critics look at the show and hold up there nose as if smelling rancid curry, I could watch this show and lend precision to my own review but my own feelings would range from “horrid” to "unwatchable."

The good thing about TV or film criticism is it is not going to be far wrong. If something gets a C+, you might give it a D or a B but rarely an A or F. By all accounts “Outsourced” is an F that is “Plan Nine from Outer Space” bad that critics are enjoying firing off shots at like fish in a barrel. The idea of reviewing a show without watching it provides some insight into myself in that I frown on facts, they are often unamusing and get in the way of a better imagined scenario of events.

If “Outsourced” is bad, it can be examined the same way one looks at the Edsel or a roadside car crash or as a cautionary tale, studied like the "Fall of the Roman Empire."

The 2006 "Outsourced" movie I have seen and it was mildly amusing. It mined the realities of corporate outsourcing, cultural differences between east and west and a "Pride and Prejudice"-style love story with a hot Indian woman. If you are a studio exec weighing the merits of a show, you have elements here to work with.

Except the male lead is not endearing and has no backstory, the cultural differences are not examined seriously except for the most obvious retread jokes and no effort was put into examining corporate outsourcing in a serious way as this is a lighthearted network comedy.

Network TV will not have an unclothed hot Indian woman either. The movie had slight amusements and those elements have been removed. Season 2 of "The Wire" dealt with the decline of the American city in some detail and most fans of "The Wire" liked Season 2 the least and "The Wire" had a small fan base to begin with. So instead global economic trends are treated with whimsy, a “Dude, Where’s my Job?” for the small screen. I am confused how this show moved past the idea stage.

While “Outsourced” is of slim interest, I would like to introduce a concept of Top Five lists related in some way to what is being reviewed. This may be a crummy show but the top five list may point to something better.

Top Five Dramatic Productions Glamorizing Something Not Really that Glamourous:

1. "Annie" — Orphan is adopted by Daddy Warbucks. Lots of song and dance numbers in an
orphanage. I also like the name Warbucks, equating wealth and war.

2. "Miss Saigon" — A musical set in Vietnam, very romantic

3. "Rent" — The carefree existence of idealistic artists struggling with Aids and discrimination
against sexual orientation. Rent portrays life as gritty and unfair for these “artists”, so the
depiction is not unrealistic just glamorized as noble. Even white people try to stay health
and concern themselves with status in society, why are those issues more evocative to
artist?

4. "Dude, Where is my Car?" — Two hung-over white kids try to find their car and to order fast
food. See, white people have problem too.

5. "Roger and Me" – Oh wait, this was actual good. Before Michael Moore championed every noble left wing cause, this picture took a look at Flint Michigan, a town in decline due to a fading American auto industry. Michael Moore pursues an interview with GM CEO Roger Smith, a failed and pointless endeavor. Interviewing an auto CEO was not going to bring back the prosperous past or even secure a better future, but it was a sweet and non-glamorous endeavor in the vein of "Don Quixote." If you are interested in the human face of jobs moving across the globe or the American city, this is a good one to watch.

Top Five Lines of Dialogue Related to the Domestic Arts:

1. Wax On, Wax Off – "Karate Kid" blue collar martial arts training regime, long before "Kill Bill."

2. Out, Out, Damned Spot – Some kind of spot in some clothes that relates to a treacherous act, courtesy of Shakespeare. I would provide more facts here except I am not high on facts as mentioned earlier and high school English class was filled with English writers and American writers fancying themselves English was filled with scarlet letters and portraits of dorian gray and seven gables with scarlet letters on them, one metaphor representing the shame of masturbation runs together with the next metaphor.

3. Halluh! – Not precisely dialogue related to cleaning something, but in "Mrs. Doubtfire,"
plucky dad Robin Williams puts his face in a lemon merriange pie to maintain his undercover identity with Sally Field and he can stay close to his family. I would have liked Robin to choke on some pie crust in production, to spare us the afterbirth of the whole "Medea" Tyler Perry empire. If there is a "Top Five Worst Legacy" list in future, Mrs. Doubtfire would make my list.

4. <blank> - Did anything noteworthy happen in "Mr. Mom" or "Maid to Order?" How about "Mr.Belvedere," "Whose the Boss?" Or the Fran Drescher sit-com? I will do some research by
watching the "Whose the Boss" adult-themed parody.

5. "You scrub the elephant, then you wash the elephant. You wash it, then you scrub it." —This is a line of dialogue (or fairly close) by Hrundi V. Bakshi as played by Peter Sellers in “The Party”, a Blake Edwards comedy. If you are looking for ridiculous Indian related jokes, you should see this film. No one does absurd humor like Sellers and Edwards. The humor should be no less dated than in “Outsourced”.

So in summary, “Outsourced” is bad. I recommend the 2006 movie or "Roger and Me" or "The Party." Also, "A Passage to India" for east-west relations.